The L Word

It cannot be given or taken away. It can be peaceful yet it can also be dangerous. It cannot be bought. The truth about it is that it comes from the heart and it is the single most important energy that exists within all living beings. Without it, nothing would exist. 

A Reckless Way to Freedom

8:00 a.m.

Eyes open. I pull myself up off the hallway floor.
To my surprise, I find myself standing in front of my apartment door. I'm quite certain that I must be dreaming at this point.
When I go to open up my door, it is locked. Alright, if I can just wake up from this dream now everything will be great. I look down at my feet and once again to my surprise, I find out that I'm currently not wearing any shoes. At this point it is alarmingly evident that I am not dreaming.
Questions start to pile up in the back of my mind and I realize that this puzzle is not going to solve itself.
I decided I would need to retrace my steps.
Took the elevator down to the first floor. Ding. Walked through the door in my socks with some really classy swagger. Not a single person in sight. A recycling bin used to discard mail  laid silently in the corner. My head felt like it had been smashed by a hammer repeatedly but something was telling me to go take a look in ole blue. Turned out to be a treasure chest.
I was somewhere in between discovering reality and realizing that I had just recovered my shoes from a recycling bin when shit hit the fan. A loud roar echoed throughout the entire city. The ground opened up and swallowed my entire apartment building. Myself though, I had different plans.
If I hadn't run at break neck speeds and jumped through the front entrance at the last second, I wouldn't have been able to cling on to the side of the quake wall and miraculously climb my way out. Let me tell ya though, I watched a lot of things fall in to no mans land. When I arose at the top I realized I had a lot more to worry about then what I had gotten up to the night before. Regardless, I had just made mother nature my bitch and wrote the book on what freedom feels like.

The End.

-Nick

Clepto-Grammar-Mania

My friend likes to steal. He once stole a stainless steel spoon.
I like to steal too. I once stole a stool.
I wanted my friends spoon very much so.
So, because I like to steal, after stealing a stool, I stole some stainless steel that had previously been stolen.


-Josh

Fractions

So I was wondering the streets when an alley way caught my eye. It looked shady and it was indeed dubiously dark.

"She ain't much, but she's something."

The voice startled me beyond... well... beyond that level of startledness that is the usual. No really. I almost "fell off my dinosaur" as they say. One might even go so far as to say that I almost shit my breeches (although I had only just relieved myself at a nearby restaurant moments ago).

After recovering from that critical hit, I confronted the source of the voice.

It appeared to be an elderly man. Or perhaps it was a middle-aged man who had fought a long losing battle with drugs. Either way I was unsure of this man and I was unsure of whom he was referring to.

I decided to humour the scraggly pauper.

"Who are you talking about?" I asked carefully.

"The 'ole two fourteen and a half!" He replied with a smile. The man pointed down the alley way as he spoke. Three fingers held a half eaten sandwich while the index provided direction. I found the sandwich particularly intriguing. It moved something within me for reasons I was unsure of at the time. "She ain't much, but she's something." he repeated.

After a short moment I realized I was staring at his sandwich and quickly met his eyes so as not to be rude. By this time the pauper's smile had faded. He was staring absently down the alley way. 

"You want it?" The man asked while offering the food with an out-stretched hand. He was still staring down the alley way...

"No thank you." I responded, trying to sound polite.

The man looked down at the sandwich in his hand. His initial expression was blank, but it slowly grew into disgust.

"Fucker ordered extra olives! Fuckin' shit makes me gag!" The seemingly crazy old man dropped the sandwich with what appeared to be malicious intent and started shambling down the alley way.

I stood perplexed for a moment. As I was staring into space trying to make sense of what had just happened I realized two things simultaneously. One; the building to the left of the alley way was  number 214, the right building being number 215 and two; the fucker who had ordered extra olives on his sandwich was me. I had thrown the sandwich in the garbage simply because I was full. The scraggly man must have scooped it out while I was taking a shit. It didn't occur to me that it was my sandwich because I hadn't actually had to request extra olives for some time as it were. I happened to be a "regular" at the establishment. Also, I don't generally throw out my sandwiches much less find it in the hands of a homeless man shortly afterwards. Jesus-fucking-H! Forgive me lord... The hands on the clock of destiny must be in full swing today I thought to myself. But what is all of this supposed to mean!??! I had always been a firm believer of fate. I maintain that everything happens for a reason and I try to make a habit of figuring out what that reason is.

I eyed the defiled sandwich that lay on the sidewalk. It sat motionless... and uncanny. "That's it," I decided. I stomped the sandwich with a  final, devastating blow of my heel as I set off down the alley way in search of the old man. Whatever all of this meant, I was unaware. But I had a feeling there was a valuable lesson to be learned from all of this and that the scraggly pauper was going to teach it to me.

I kicked the dirt off my shoes before entering the alley way... the home of a homeless man... 214 and a half.

TO BE CONTINUED...

-Josh

Texas Hold 'em Poker Rap

When it comes to hold 'em, you might as well fold 'em
I'll have you spillin' chips before the flop flips

I am one of a kind,
Playin' like a millionaire,
Make ya fold before ya pay da blind
Flippin' chips with a twist of the wrist - I'll blow ya fuckin' mind

Burn one
Flip flip flip
Burn one
Flip
Then the river comes and I make ya trip
When it comes to the pot, you can't even win a split
Like a fist to the face, I'll make ya spit chips

'Bout to rip a hole in the universe as I step into the second verse
Hope ya got enough chips in ya purse
'Cause here comes the worst
I'm about to burst while I put you in a hearse
'Cause when it comes to poker, I'll always place first
Now let's see if you got enough chips to quench my thirst

Don't even try to bluff
I'll call you out like a diamond in the rough
You aint' hard enough for this stuff

I got a poker face like a brick wall
You left your poker face in the washroom stall
If you fuckin' bluff, I'm gunna' fuckin' call

If you try to check, I'm gunna fuckin' raise
All your chips will vanish in a smokeless fuckin' haze

Please don't test me
I have a flawless poker recipe
It's gunna' be a royal flush victory
Why do you think they call me "Master Lee"?
I am a master of poker and a professor of philosophy

Hand after hand, you fall into my plan
Can't you understand?
I am the "Poker Man"

Looks like it's time to ante-up
What's a matter? Can't you fill the cup?
My poker chip volcano is about to fuckin' erupt
Time to throw your cards in, bitch, 'cause you're goin' home fuckin' bankrupt


-Josh

Random Thought

Eye's don't give true vision.
The Brain does not give intelligence.
These are just tools some use better than others.

-Adam

Thought Provoking Question

"When "sick" is the standard, how does one become truly ill?"

Josh